Things

I'm in between a fire station preschool trip earlier this morning, dropping Kyla off at school after and needing to leave in about 20 minutes to go back and pick her up.  Field trip was fun, but the boys were more into it than the girls :)

I've since finished all of the trilogy of the Fifty Shades of Grey books and finished another romance novel, Hopeless - which was OK but not comparable to the Fifty.

Kyla and I are going to Shriner's Hospital in Spokane soon and I've begun planning for that trip.  We will stay overnight at the Shriner's lodging at the hospital since her appt is at 7:45 in the morning and I couldn't get an appointment any later in the day for her.  This is to get her setup with Shriner's so that in the future when she has prosthetics made and our out of pocket is 1100 like this last one, Shriner's will cover that for us, which is so nice - that is what they are there for.  So this is for her to get setup with the hospital.  Thankfully my Mother in Law is staying with Emma so I don't have to manage both girls out of town and dr. appointments all by myself - so thankful, just less headache for the trip.

I've also got Kyla registered to start ballet here in the next week or so, I don't even remember the exact day it starts, but it's soon and she is excited but I'm praying it will all go well and the girls will be accepting to her.  I already discussed her situation with the Director and asked him to inform the instructor so that they are aware she will be using her prosthetic for classes, etc.  I will be a nervous wreck for Ky on this day - I just don't ever know what to expect so hopefully she loves it and the girls are friendly.

We did family night at the Rollarena here this past weekend - I was so bored sitting at home and Greg had worked Saturday, done some things with his Dad Sunday and the girls have been sick for like the past 2 weeks - Emma had double ear infection and Kyla and I have just slowed worked thru our sickness, so I am just tired of being at home, so Kyla and I went skating together and Dad and Emma watched for the most part.  It was fun and Kyla loves going there.  She is finally to the point where she started skating all by herself without holding onto my hand.  Luckily for her her cousin's having her bday party there again this weekend so she will get to practice some more.  Her goal is to learn how to roller skate all by herself so that she can have her birthday party there this September. 

Real quick - if you're a stay at home mom, this article is a must read:  it sums up my exact feelings on a daily basis so perfectly.  I struggle often with this job - more so than I imagined I would - it is so hard, I just keep telling myself it will get better which it has, but it is so funny literally a month ago I was telling my Husband I want to adopt soon - kids - but now I wonder what I was thinking, maybe I was just doing some crazy talk.  Honestly I would love more babies, but I know in order to keep my sanity I can't do it - I think if I had more help from family I could probably do it and be happy but since I don't then I can't.....  It is.  that is kind of a side note to issues that are going on, but I think not having people I can trust with my babies makes it difficult - it is me or nobody, so adoption is probably not a smart idea....although I have always wanted to adopt since I was young - as far as me having more kids myself I just feel like my body is done - I've had 2 c-sections, I'm over 30 - which is when increase risks for things like down syndrome, etc. like double, so as much as it does make me sad since I love my babies so much I think baby days are over :(  My Sis is pregnant and due in just a few months so hopefully can get baby fix that way.  Anyway READ THIS ARTICLE... it's perfect - you love your job but you also yearn for more - read it -

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/glennon-melton/the-questions-that-will-save-your-relationships_b_4618254.html

Off to preschool....again :)

Potty Training Round 2

Emma has started to want to use the big girl potty. She likes to sit down attack the toliet paper roll so much that I eventually have to hide it, tear off the smallest pieces of TP, wipe, and flush. She hasn't actually gone to the bathroom yet but this is a good start.  This picture I yelled at greg to come up and take was too cute not to share. This is her new smile for the camera face. Me and this girl have a special bond, I love her to pieces.

More Christmas Stuff

A few days ago I said I would post a few photos from Christmas, but then the baby woke up crying and for some reason later this evening I decided I was going to download 50 Shades of Grey and I got caught up in that for a few days.  LOL, I was like seriously addicted it to, couldn't hardly put it down until I finished yesterday morning.  Not that some parts of it aren't a tad bit strange, but I think it appeals to lots of women because dudes just aren't romantic, or most aren't and the guy in the book is, so of course women want to read.  There's that and the book ended with Ana leaving Christian and they are broken up said their goodbyes and she's sitting in her room crying.  What woman can't relate to that kind of relationship in her early 20's?  Most everyone can.  The girl loves the guy - the guy is having a hard time getting past just the physical and admitting that he also is falling in love with her.  So something most women can relate to.  I know I'm about 5 years late on these books, not sure why I haven't read them before.  I downloaded book #2 lastnight but I'm not going to obsess over reading this one...heck I do have Mom responsibilities.  My hubs was so mad at me for spending several hours Sunday reading.  What?  I never read a dang book, so I didn't care.  Anyhow here are some of our Christmas break photos.  I forgot to mention (I think) that I have Kyla on a waiting list for a Robohand - or to discuss the possibility of getting her one.  Actually what she would get would be a roboarm, since she doesn't have a portion of her wrist on her left arm.  Google it, it's pretty awesome.  3D printers make functional arms/hands where the fingers (all 5 of them) move.  And if you have access to a 3D printer, the cost to make this can be as cheap as $15, rather than the $1100 we had to put out after insurance covered 80%...  It looks like something out of a sci-fi movie.  That is actually where they got the technologies to make these, I believe the guy who is in Seattle (a co-inventor) used to work on the sets of movies.  So they have her on a waiting list and said to expect to hear from them in the new year, which is now... 

I am still waiting to hear back on school.  I'm getting tired of waiting, but I actually really really want to do ultrasound, so it's worth the wait.  I am almost ready to give in and start working toward a medical assistant degree but I don't think that pays near as well and wouldn't be as interesting to me.  I will keep checking and hopefully they will make a decision soon.  I'm totally not a good just stay at home mom.  I need to be doing something, contributing to the family - whatever.  I do not think once my girls are in full time school I could just stay home and nothing else - not me.  Anyhow here are the photos.  Talk later.

 Our Christmas card..obviously :)   Photos taken/edited by me :)) (Emma was difficult to get to sit still)

 Christmas cookies with Kyla.

 Our tree minus a star or angel (I can never find one I like so have gone without the past few years).

 Emma and one of her Christmas gifts.  My sweet blue eyed unicorn.

 Kyla bedazzled ;) in her Christmas jewelry.

Here is her prosthetic.  The lever on the back of the hand, moves the fingers so they can pickup different things.  Everyone asks why the doctor gave her a hispanic colored hand, lol...I have no idea and it's a good question, we go back to see him soon and I'm going to ask if we can switch to something more her skin color - it is off by several shades.

Here Kyla has some silly bands on her wrist from the doctor (are those what those are called?) and she is holding a binky in her prosthetic hand.

 Me and my sweet baby just playing downstairs in the basement.

 Me again almost ready for the Zion Christmas party... 

And my girls visiting Santa.  Emma is terrified of Santa.  Poor thing.  Kyla looks pale and washed out :(  oh well, we still got the picture.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas everyone.  We just finished all of our Christmases earlier this evening.  Between my Husband and I's families we have several stops to make each year and usually several different days to celebrate.  I took down our Christmas tree earlier today and Kyla cried and begged me not to take it down.  I feel the same way about Christmas but am not as sad to get my house back in order.

We got Kyla's prosthetic just over a week ago.  She likes it but doesn't like to keep it on for very long, so I have been setting a timer and she did wear it for almost an hour straight the other day without even complaining or asking me if she can take it off yet, which is really good. 

She has been in some sort of weird phase lately where she has been pulling down her sleeve and just letting it dangle.  Ever since she was a baby I have always rolled her sleeve up and she has been fine with it, as long as I roll it perfectly - she is very particular about how her clothes feel which is me exactly when I was a little girl.  I remember my Mom putting me in pants that were too tight when I was little and I would flip out crying and pulling on them - Kyla got this from me, which is probably good since I am usually the one to dress her I can symphatize with her.  But anyway lately she has been letting the sleeve dangle, so we keep asking her why are you doing that, why do you keep rolling it down?  Her only answer and her answer always is that her arm is cold (which it never feels cold).  So I think maybe because we have been talking of the prosethetic, she has been wearing the prosthetic, etc. she is a little confused on how she should feel about her arm.  I know this is just a phase that will pass so I'm not worried about it.  But I do tell her that I think she is making up that her arm is cold and tell her that she needs to be proud of how God made her and not hide it.  Easier for me to say... and I know that.  So I don't push it too much.

Anyhow we did all the Christmas stuff this year, light shows, Christmas Eve church service (which I have always loved since I was a little girl) Christmas dinners, family gift exchanges, etc.  This weekend I planned a group sledding trip to a ski resort that isn't too far from us with our friends and kids.  It should be lots of fun.  Emma is old enough I think she will enjoy it.

I finally got a teenage babysitter and we used her for the first time about 3 weeks ago to go out to dinner with a group of our friends - something I also planned.  I have been in the planning mood lately I guess.  The babysitter was awesome - she is 16 and has 10 siblings so she knows how to care for kids, so we will definitely use her again, which is nice to have.  

My Hubs has a new job and starts in about a week....I'm nervous, just hoping that it all works out and is good....  he has a good job now but he is in law enforcement and is just tired of being surrounded with criminals 24/7, he isn't a cop where he can just pick someone up and drop them off at the jail and be done with them, he is surrounded at work with them constantly.  So we will see.....I'm just hoping it all goes well and he is happier and it works for our family. 

I will post our Christmas card and a few pictures of Kyla's prosthetic shortly - baby just woke up and crying.  Happy new year!

Thanksgiving 2013

I have a few minutes this morning so figured I'd do an update.  We were out of town last weekend at a friend's cabin in Hunters, WA.  Middle of no where really, it's the 2nd time we have been up there over the past few months.  Our friend, actually he's like my Husband's brother but not has several acres of land and a little cabin he is completely redoing.  We had fun, Greg went out hunting 3 times while we were there so me and the kids just kinda hung out at the cabin with our friend's kids doing camp fire, taking small walks, watching movies, etc.  It was kinda nice to get out of town again.  I'll attach a few photos.  Other than that, not much has been happening.  We are apparently supposed to get a decision this week back from insurance on whether or not they have determined that Kyla's prosthetic is "medically necessary."  Sooo ridiculous.  I'm not sure how much more medically necessary she could be to have one, but whatever we will go along with whatever they decide and if they decide it isn't medically necessary we will just wait until January when we have an appointment at Shriners in Spokane, WA to have them help us get her what she needs.  My Husband is in the process of getting a new job, which is still under wraps but we will see.  I am hoping it will be for the best and be better for our family.  I've been doing quite a bit of photo shoots but recently have none until the end of December, which bums me out a bit because I like doing them, I am sure I'll have more people schedule but for right now that's all I have.  I'm still learning though all of the time, different ways of shooting to give me different effects.  Anyway this week is Thanksgiving and I'm cooking the meal for our family.  It'll be like 5 adults and my two kiddos, not too bad, I can pull it off, have several times before but I've always had my Sister to help cook, not this year, so it's just more stress I'd rather not deal with.  :)  I took a few hours yesterday out of the house to just be by myself.  Sometimes I just have to get away from the kids and out of the house for a bit just to stay sane.  I'm with them by myself almost the entire week except a few hours in the evenings when Greg is home so I need this time every once in a while and I don't take it near enough.  I might do it once every 2 months or so.  Anyhow hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving holiday.  Hopefully next time I post we will HAVE Kyla's prosthetic to take home.

Oceanside Oregon Trip

We are back from a vacation finally! We went to again my favorite place but this time rented a house in Oceanside, Oregon. It was amazing the view was ridiculously beautiful.  It rained a good amount of the time so we were stuck inside quite a bit but that was actually nice. Made for long quiet days. Again like I always say, I will move to Tillamook someday. The valley views there are beautiful a

nd the ocean is like 15 mins away.  Thankfully my Dad feels the same as me and is now looking to buy land and eventually build in Tillamook. Yes!!  I love the farm quiet life there.

Mama Gots a Gun :)

Sooooo after about a year of telling my Husband that I want a gun, I finally got one!  And I've got my concealed carry permit in process.  We went out yesterday afternoon to shoot it and to teach me how to actually shoot on target.  My Dad was a little upset at first that I got a .22LR and not something bigger, but I've shot my Husband's other guns before and they all have so much recoil that I do not enjoy shooting them and never really learned how to hit on target.  So my Husband figured this was a good gun for me to start with.  I ended up purchasing a Ruger LCR .22LR.  And it's even in my name.  LOL, I didn't let my Husband buy it, I wanted to be able to say "It's my gun :)"  So I did the whole wait a week to pick up and all, which was fine.  We took it out yesterday and my first time picking it up I hit a 9" plate with all 8 rounds, first try.  And I actually learned how to aim at my target and make good hits.  I did this several times and then my Husband made me shoot his Glock .40 which I never have liked....I didn't want to, but I did because he wants me to be able to shoot all of the guns that are kept inside our house, so I aimed just like I did with my .22 and made head or chest hits pretty much everytime, and the kick on the Glock really wasn't so terrible.....I actually kinda like it.  Then we moved onto the shot gun, which also scared me, but I have always known if I had to use it, I could and would.....  I gotta protect my babies, so I made him shoot first a few times and then did it myself...and it really wasn't too bad either and I was also able to make the same head and chest shots like I had done with the other guns. 

Here are a few pics of me shooting yesterday.  You can see how tense I am shooting the Glock .40....LOL I needed to relax just a bit, but that gun makes me nervous a little. 

I decided I wanted a gun and my concealed carry permit because I am alone with the girls a lot and I don't feel safe out in public with them and no way to protect them, there's too many weirdos.  There are also quite a bit of strange people in our neighborhood and I've had a few instances where people have come by our house and I've either called the cops on them, or had neighbors who have had problems with people, etc.  The other day I took the girls to the park down the street and it was just us 3 there, no one else was at the park and some dude walks by and just stares at us, no smile, just a not friendly stare while walking by and like a long long stare...  Ughhh hello, if he decided to do something, I would be there with two young kids and myself, no one else around and we would pretty much be helpless, so this is why I have decided to do this.  Now I just need to find holsters!  That seems to be the tricky part for a girl.  But I'm excited I can finally defend my children by myself if need be. 

This is how I have to steal my kisses

This little turd will very rarely willingly kiss me, so I have to resort to this....holding her down and smothering her with kisses.  I blame it on us putting her in daycare when she was little ;) Miss Emma usually lets me kiss on her as much as I want, which is a lot!!

   i get beatup, but it's worth it ;)

Old Pictures

I found some photos the other day of when Kyla was a flower girl in her aunt and uncles wedding two years ago. She was, and is so beautiful. I like these pics cause she is really showing off her armie in them :) I walked her down the aisle because she was too little to walk by herself.

Doctor's, and More Doctors.

Took the girl's to the doctor earlier today.  Left pretty upset....  totally got unexpected questions from the doctor as to what everyday needs can't Kyla do that justify her prosthetic.  I gave the doctor about five different examples but she kept pressing for more, so I explained to her about her bike and her scooter and ballet.  Those things aren't "necessary" according to the doctor.  I said, well as far as I'm concerned they are, because they allow her to function just as any other little girl her age does.  It was just out of no where unexpected....her doctor is usually so nice but was really pretty rude how she treated us today.  I was pissed and she could tell I think...I was almost to the point where I grabbed the girls and walked out, but I didn't.  I explained to the doctor, I've never really been around other 4 year old children, I don't know what things she should be able to do at the age of 4 that she can't do.  Kyla still needs help putting her clothes on, and apparently at 4, kids should be able to do that, according to the doctor.  When I told her this, she didn't look at me but shook her head at me....  well sorry lady but it's the truth, I've never really been around kids, except for 1 niece and she isn't 4.  LOL.....so I left there a little upset but then also sad....I find that the only time I cry, ever, is when is comes to Kyla and the difficulties that we have to go thru with her doctor's/insurance/kids not being so nice.  It is surely difficult parenting a child with differences, especially when that child isn't treated (by doctors/etc.) like she is different, when clearly she is.  I called my Husband on the way home and I just explained to him I don't understand why this prosthetic thing is so difficult when it really shouldn't be!  I think it's a combo of everyone who shouldn't receive benefits receiving them and people abusing the system that really have no right to be abusing.  I just find it shocking that we are even having to "fight" for this.  And like I explained to my Husband, it's difficult because I am always the one who sees this, since my Husband works so much he doesn't see the random kids in the hallway at preschool stop and yell "look, she doesn't have an arm!"  (we had this same thing happen twice in one day while doing drop off/pick ups at preschool last week) and he doesn't see the interactions that I deal with as far as doctors and insurance companies.  Ugh, it is hard..... but I do realize that we are lucky in that we do have it fairly easy, things could be a whole lot worse. 


Anyhow, Kyla has been loving school.  I just went thru my cell phone and deleted probably 50 pictures that she had taken her self, of random things, like the floor, her shoes, the walls, Emma, me, her Dad....  lol, she's into pictures lately.  And she makes you say cheese every time she takes a picture of you.  I'll attach a few she has taken. 

I've been doing more photography lately, I had a senior 2 weekends ago that turned out awesome, she is super pretty and her pictures just turned out really well....then I had a sibling shoot on Saturday that I was nervous for...I've never shot boys, so as far as posing, it was new to me, and there were 3 of them, including 2 teenage boys...yikes....they were not really into the whole taking pictures thing :)  and a younger boy and younger girl.  They turned out good but I wish I could've shot later in the day due to the bright lighting...but we had a schedule conflict.  Then Sunday I was supposed to shoot a child that is also a friend of ours but we had to reschedule due to rain.  It has been fun.  I've had some random people contact me and also a lady asking  me to do a booth at an event thing that is going on - I declined that...I'm definitely not ready for something like that.  But maybe someday. 

Anyhow here is Kyla's photography work for your enjoyment :)

Yes, she makes me turn around and say cheese while driving (I'll do it sometimes...).