December 2014

Wow, last time I posted was September.  It's been a crazy last few months.  I decided to log back on to do an update of how things have been.  They have been pretty good but so busy - too busy.  My Husband's regular job is a lot and on top of that he has another job that he does for his friend's business, so he is either at work for his regular job, which equates to being away from the home 14 hours on the days he works, then his PT job in between, sleeping during the days or I am off on a photo shoot, baby sitting my 8 month old niece a few days/week or busy with our own kids.  It's too much.  On top of that I've recently been looking for a PT job that would allow me some time away from the home but still be able to be there for the kids for things we need like getting them up and ready for school and to school in the mornings (Emma isn't in school but would be if I got a job) and also just be able to be with them as well.  I can't see myself going back to a Full Time position; not until both kids are in FT school themselves. 

I guess when I left my career I did not realize how much I was going to give up to everyone else.  I'm always constantly meeting someone's need, if it's not a kid, it's my Husband's, or our families need (doing everything at home).  It is EVERYONE but my need's, which I am happy to do, but I'm also burnt out.  I don't honestly think it's right that there is never anyone there to help me or just give me a break.  I have been really wanting to take yoga classes and the fact is I can't.  My Husband's crazy schedule and my kid's schedule allows nothing for me.  Of course I could pay to have a babysitter so I could go, but guess what?  Running on one person's income while the other stays home makes it hard.  It's not like there are a ton of funds there for things like that, so our options are limited. 

Getting back to a PT job, I did interview with a few NY Life Insurance Agents and I received a phone call after the interview from them last week and they told me they had let their FT admin go the day after I interviewed so they were looking at getting two people now instead of 1 so it was taking longer than expected and that I would hear back from them soon. I'm still waiting but expect to hear back today or tomorrow.  It would be flexible which is what I need and possibly able to do some stuff from home or on weekends.  It will be interesting to see if they give me an offer and how we will figure out preschool pickup for them and a couple hours care after that.  I've got a few gals I have talked to already, but I just want what's best for the kids and now I realize that is for me to have at least SOME time for myself.  I can't be the best Mom to them when I'm worn out being pulled meeting everyone's needs but mine for literally years.  It's exhausting and just not really how things should be.  Mom needs a break every once in a while....  and it's not like I'm a regular stay at home Mom...my Husband doesn't work a regular job and on top of that he also works a PT job in addition to that and oh yeah, we have our rentals he takes care of as well, hahaha.  I talk to my Husband but I feel he more than anything just see's it as me complaining.  I'm not really complaining but more just hoping someone will realize that I actually do have needs that should be looked at and at least considered and tried to figure out (like how to maybe get me to a yoga class every once in a while). 

I have decided that I want to work in customer service type jobs so I'm not dealing with the same people every single day.  I did that for 12 years and that gets old, I think it would be fun to see new people and be able to talk to new people every day...which is something I've never done...but still do administrative, office, accounting type work that I am used to, but I've realized that every job but 2 that I have applied for needs to be Spanish speaking or preferred - which I am not, so I've got the Rosetta Stone 5 levels Spanish for Christmas and will start learning as soon as I get that here in a few weeks - so dumb, but obviously have to do it.  

Kyla is doing very good.  She is in school of course 4 days/week and ballet 1 hour/week.  Her and I went on a Mommy/Daughter date to the Nutcracker the other night and she loved it - she wants to be in it when she is old enough - has to be 7.  It will be interesting to see how this ballet all plays out - I realized in the Nutcracker how much the hands and fingers really do play a part in the art of the dance - she really has done such a good job doing everything she does with her real arm mirrored with her prosthetic arm, but of course can't move palms flat or fingers posed like may be necessary someday (necessary for a performance maybe, but not for the sport).  Kyla will start soccer here in the spring and I think she will do very well at that - she is a fast little runner - both our girls are super quick - they don't get that from me I don't think.

We got a letter in the mail to schedule our annual appointment with Shriner's Hospital in Spokane, so we will be making that trip again not too long from now, has to be done one time/year to stay a patient of Shriner's.  I don't want to do it by myself this time, so am going to try to find a time that my Husband could come with us - if possible.  Kyla's prosthetic arm is now a little short in comparison to her real arm, so she could probably use another prosthetic here in the next 6-9 months from now I am guessing.  For now it works just fine.  I would like to see about getting her a type that is more for looks than function since she doesn't use it at all except for dance.  I saw an article today on Lauren Scruggs which is the lady who lost her eye and arm in the airplane propeller accident a few years ago; she was a model or still is a model and her prosthetic arm looks so real - it is very hard to tell it isn't real.  I do love the fact that we can have fun with Kyla's prosthetic and make it look NOT real...I honestly do not want to hide it from anyone which is why we always choose a fun fabric, but I'm thinking once it gets to where she is old enough to be in performances maybe we will move more toward life like and no special fabric, or fingers that function (spring loaded to hold things - since she really doesn't use it anyway) or sleeves and Velcro straps to hold it on.  Anyhow, that's my update now.  Everyone have a wonderful Christmas!