4 Years

Kyla Rae turned 4 years old September 5th!  Can't believe it has already been 4 years.  I remember her being born like it was yesterday.  Not being able to sleep the night before my c-section, the drive to the hospital with my Hubs where I told him specifically that "I feel like something's not going to be right with her" (thank you God for giving me the motherly intuition to know that we were going to have a special girl before we even got her...amazing), being so nervous before the c-section that I had to have our delivery nurse fill out my paperwork for me.  LOL why in the world do they hand women like 12 pages worth of paperwork to fill out right before they are going to have a baby cut out of them?!?  I also remember the lady who came while we were waiting for the c-section, she came to draw my blood to test if I was anemic and she was deaf!  LOL and we didn't know she was deaf.  hahaha.  So I'm sitting there trying to make small talk with the lady while she is drawing my blood just kinda to relax a bit, because I am not a huge fan of having my blood drawn and she wouldn't respond to me.  Hahahaha so I remember trying to get her to talk a few times before I finally looked over at my Husband, like "what the heck...what is wrong with this lady."  After she left we asked the other nurses what was up with that lady and they told us she was deaf...oh thanks for the FYI.  Another very special thing about Kyla that I have talked about before, but it's been years; she was born 9/5/09 at 9:59 am.  Makes it very easy to remember...  And because I'm weird, I think that's another little sign from God, that yes I gave you this special little girl and made her special on purpose!!! 

We had Kyla's birthday party the previous weekend at a splash & play park here in town and it was a lot of fun.  Between Greg and I's family and friends there is about 30 of us, so it's always a large gathering.  Kyla had school on her birthday and took cupcakes to share with her friends.  She got a scooter and big girl bicycle with training wheels, both of which she has learned to ride well and very quickly.  We went out to dinner at Red Robin the evening of her birthday, which has become a tradition for her.  She told us she wanted them to sing to her which they did and as soon as they started she got shy and snuggled up real close to me.  :) 

Something that I wanted to mention.....I took Kyla and Emma to the park on Monday, which we do go to the park from time to time but not a ton.  The reason being is because it is always SO awkward.  Kids just stop playing and either surround her and stare, or get away from her and stare and don't play.  Kyla doesn't really even notice - she just plays but the kids, myself and their parents certainly notice.  It's kind of ridiculous but usually I drive around some to try to find a park that doesn't have a bunch of kids already at it.  Isn't that dumb?  I know it is but it really sucks having my kid be stared at like she is an alien or something; not only by the kids but also their parents.  Sometimes it just blows my mind how rude people are.

I mean, I grew up going to a school that had a special area for kids that were special needs.  Granted most of these kids had Down Syndrome, mental retardation, Tourettes, etc. more of what you think of when you think of "special needs."  But we did have a girl there who was born with only a portion of all 4 limbs...and she had like maybe 1 or two fingers.  She got around on a motorized wheelchair... and besides her limb differences she was completely normal.  I remember the way she was treated and I don't ever remember people treating her badly or like she was a freak or something......I don't really get that....Monday when we were at the park I just sit back and watch to make sure Kyla isn't being treated badly, because if she is, I start yelling at some kids.  LOL.  Like I will put up with some of it, but there comes a point where kids need to be told to just leave her alone and I have no problem doing that, regardless if their parents hear me or not.  I don't remember if I have written about this before or not >>> if I have, forgive me.  Anyway on Monday there was a Russian or Bosnia, (or they were something) family that showed up to the park and they were nice enough and didn't say anything but the looks weren't great.  The kids really didn't play at all and eventually left the park, but literally I feel like now I know what it was like to be like African American several years ago before people's ideas changed about skin color.  These Russian/Bosnian kids were talking to Emma and saying hi to her and "you're so cute" but none of them said a word to Kyla.  LOL.  I didn't say anything.  So because one of my kids has two hands she is cute, and the other who has 1 hand isn't cute?  Makes sense.  This park that we were at is close to our house and usually has 1 or 2 people there and that's it, so it's kind of our "go-to" park.

I find people's reaction to something so not a big deal really surprising....  I mean nobody chooses the children they will have...we just get what we get....it's not like I had a choice 'oh yes please, make my child with half an arm.'  Doesn't work like that.  Never in a million years did I ever think I would have a "special needs" child.  No one ever thinks that.  It just happens and as a loving parent you have to be willing to embrace that your child is the way they are.  I just don't get why it's such a big deal to some people.  Granted, I would say to most people, it's not a big deal, thank goodness for that.  

I almost forgot we had another appt with Brock at Hanger Prosthetics last week and Kyla's prosthetic is coming along so well.  It is going to be really exciting when we actually get to take it home.  This guy is good at what he does, pretty resourceful and tailoring it specifically to her needs to make it as comfortable and useful for her as possible.  We went to pick out fabrics for it last week and Kyla of course picked out the fabric she liked and I picked the fabric I liked.  Kyla's fabric will probably win.