Happenings

Not too much has been going on, but I thought I would write a little something to current.

I just finished doing a BowFlex workout in our basement.  After my day today, I needed something to work out my stressors.  :)  Kyla had her second and third "time outs" yesterday and today.  She has done time out at daycare before, but really has never had to do it at home.  So it was hard, but I think the terrible twos might be hitting early.  She is sort of on the verge I think of getting kicked out of daycare.  I sure hope not, but our daycare provider has been talking to us recently about how difficult she is when it comes to feeding and this is something that I've very much aware of.  Our daycare gal has been running her business for several years now and has two children of her own and she has stated several times that she has never had a kid like her when it comes to eating; she has even suggested that she thinks she might have something wrong with her throat; possibly a problem with swallowing.  I don't believe she has anything wrong with swallowing, just that she doesn't like to eat.  This has been a little bit of a stressor for me, because if she gets kicked out of daycare, I don't know of any other licensed daycares that are willing to charge less for PT daycare, like we currently have with our daycare provider.  I also don't have family that would be willing to watch her, so if it were to happen, I would probably have to quit my job, which is not something I want to do at this point.  Every licensed daycare that I have ever talked to charges for FT care whether you need it or not, and we cannot afford to pay a FT rate with me only working PT....  so some things need to change.  Kyla needs to start eating and not just for her favorite cartoon show, Bubble Guppies.  Something I'm going to have to work harder on and she is as well.  And we already have, hence why yesterday and today were so difficult.

Greg and I went to a Naughty by Nature concert here in town on Wednesday night.  It was horrible.  At least the venue was horrible....I'm too old for those places now but wanted to go because Naughty by Nature has always been one of my favorite old school hip hop groups.  Once they finally showed up at 11:45 and started to perform, it was pretty decent, but we certainly didn't expect that it would take them that long to start when the venue advertised a start time of 7:30 PM.  Very disappointing.  The venue was The Rock Reactor in downtown Kennewick....  it sucked, was ghetto fabulous, and I will never go there again.  Another thing is that this outing made me realize that with a Husband who is in law enforcement and has been for several years now, he knows too many people and has had troubles with too many people and we cannot go to some of these places and enjoy ourselves at the same time.  There was a huge dude there who apparently has 3 homicides on his record but they have never actually been able to charge him with murder and he has had problems with my Husband while he was in jail years ago, and this guy told him that he was going to come after him once he got out, which never happened.  He just got out of prison after being in there for 4 years and so it was really uncomfortable, for me especially I think.  It is more of a big deal to me now that we are parents, I don't want something to happen and Kyla to be parent-less or something or without one parent....that would not be a good thing, so this experience kind of opened up my eyes to the fact that we just can't do these kinds of things anymore, unless we are with a large group of friends, and we weren't.

Things have still been weird with my family and they are getting even weirder.  I think now that my Sister's boyfriend has been in prison for several months now, she is getting closer to my relatives, and thus they are getting further away from me.  I have not spoken to my Sister or Mom since February, however I did write my Sister a letter this past week and explained once again why it is that I feel like I can no longer communicate with her or maintain a relationship with her.  I offered words of advice (once again) and told her that if and when she decides to take a different path for herself and for her Daughter that I would be here to support her.  Haven't heard anything back and don't expect to.  A month or so ago we went to Oregon to purchase cedar fencing for our yard, and my Sister and Niece passed us on the highway heading to the prison in Oregon where my Sister's boyfriend is current at.  Now I don't know about you, but wouldn't anyone who is thinking right see a problem with a six year old child being drive 5-6 hours out of town to visit their Mom's boyfriend in prison?  I sure do.  This isn't about my Sister really, this is about my Niece, an innocent child who has no say over the environment that she is exposed to.  I have had a friend even suggest to me that I need to do something about it, meaning like take her to court to get custody or something, but I really don't want to do this.  I don't get it at all and I don't see why no one in my family is not willing to do something about it.  Everyone in my family is only enabling my Sister's behaviors and it's disguisting.  You'd think they would care more about this little girl, but it's obvious they don't.  I get it because I've been there, I've been that child who had no control over the environment that they are exposed to and I certainly am not OK with my Sister doing the same thing to her own child...especially when she knows first hand what it is like.

I will stop venting, but this past week has been difficult.  With a combo of different stuff going on and with summer hitting, Kyla is in t-shirts more and thus the stares out in public are increasing.  It is very hard, I try to just look forward and not look at the faces, but it isn't always possible, but then I also have noticed Kyla notices other people more too and so I find myself sort of trying to block her from the stares in a way, at least a little bit.  Like during checkouts at the grocery store, that is when it's a little difficult because you aren't moving, you're at a stand still and people look at children, because they're cute, because it's a baby and everyone wants to get a look at their cuteness, but lately now that it's summer time, it's been weird stares from those passing by or big smiles until they realize she is missing part of her arm and then those smiles drop...not easy for a parent to see, because we love our babies unconditionally.

Not that I'm complaining or anything, just saying that this past week hasn't been the greatest, a little difficult, somewhat emotional from time to time.  It is time for bed, church in the morning and a get-together to attend.  Everyone have an awesome Memorial Day weekend.